Welcome all to ๐๐ผ๐ป๐ป๐ผ๐น๐น๐โ๐ ๐๐ผ๐ฟ๐ป๐ฒ๐ฟ, a series of weekly reviews by Charles Connollyย - an artist in his own right. Here, Charles delves into the greatest brand new singles brought to you by the best unsigned artists on our electrifying and eclectic set of ๐๐๐ฌ ๐ผ๐ง๐ฉ๐๐จ๐ฉ ๐๐ฅ๐ค๐ฉ๐ก๐๐๐๐ฉ playlists.
๐๐๐๐ฃ ๐ ๐๐ค๐ก๐ ๐๐ค๐ช (๐๐ค๐ก๐ก๐ฎโ๐จ ๐๐ค๐ฃ๐) - ๐๐ค ๐ฝ๐๐ง๐๐
Charles speaks of songs and daughtersโฆ
Children, eh? Kids! Canโt live with โem, canโt live without โem. Or so Iโm told. I personally canโt stand the blighters. Rotten little noisy things with snotty noses, always whining about this or about that. I mean, why would anyone WANT such a thing?? Actually CHOOSE to have one? Or even SEVERAL? I mean, are you people completely and utterly out of your mind?? Why would you DO that to yourself? To inflict such pain and misery on an otherwise relatively decent lifeโฆ Speaking of life, youโve spent oh so many years sorting out whatever life was supposed to be, and finally youโre on track. Things are clear. Things are good. You and partner. All working well, in both senses of the word. Youโre comfortable, in terms of money, and , well, comfort. You feel good. You do not hate your job too much. There is a natural flow to the way of life. Youโve just got into the swing of things. Et voilร . Repeat until the cycle is complete. The thing isโฆ There is no cycle. There is an end. Nothing to pass on. It all ends there. And THEN what have you got. A couple who spent their life doing life. Just their own life. Pah. What is that. โA discontented lazy rabble, instead of a thrifty working classโฆ?โ - sorry, I do like the occasional quote.
The thing is, no matter how perfect (or imperfect) life is, we suddenly get this urge (so Iโm told) to make babies. I think the urge is more in the process of making than in the babies themselves, but what do I know. Well I think it all comes down to โitโs what we doโ. Weโre trained that way. Itโs NATURE! Subconsciously, we want to continue the tradition of the dot dot dot family. Like kings and queens, only broke, unknown and sans tiara. But really - WHY?? Because aunts, uncles and cousins donโt shut up about it! Nudging you and poking you into having an even smaller amalgamated blob. Having a child is a very serious thing indeed, and it simply MUST be born out of love, and not to shut people up. โTHERE! Iโve done it! You happy now?? Shut up, and fetch me a drinkโ - not exactly a show of kindness, love and passionโฆ One should perhaps think about every aspect of the thing beforehand. Just to be sure. Everything does tend to point in the opposite directionโฆ Theyโre noisy. They make mess. They smell. You have to CHANGE them. I certainly would change them if I could find the receipt. Theyโre hungry all the time. So much so, that you actually suspect them of having the munchies. Which inevitably later on, they will. Clothes. They outgrow them pretty much on a monthly basis. Schools. What schools. Which schools. Where. HOW much??? Want Want Want! And do you know what? They actually Get Get Get!!! They own us!!
I was once a child. And so were you. Arenโt you pleased to exist? Arenโt you ecstatic to be on Godโs green earth? Well, okay. Maybe โecstaticโ is not quite the right word, these days. Neither is "green". But you donโt wish youโd never been born, do you? Exactly! โWhatโs that? Boy at the back? Oh, you do?โ - well, thatโs a bit awkward. I havenโt much to say to that. Sorry, I suppose. Here, have a sweetie. โOh CC, you cold, callous, heartless type! How can you joke about such things!!โ - because I like to have a little fun, and you should learn how to do the same. Life is for smiling out loud. I mean, just look at the adorable cover of this weekโs CC pick! SHEโs having a lovely time. But weโll get to that shortly. Back to what we once were. Youโve got to think about who youโre bringing into the world. For, it is a โwhoโ and not a what. Putin was once a child. Canโt imagine he had many friends. Now he just buys them. Little baby-faced Trump was once a child. Once greedy, always greedy. Hitler was once a child. Say no more. But so was Mary Poppins. Wait, Mary Poppins is fictional. Okay then, Marie Curie. She wasnโt fictional. She was once a child. And she did good things! And then died from radiation poisoning. But now we know not to ingest radiation. You live, you learn. Well: they live, WE learn. They, simply die. Anyway, much like most of what I write, that was off-topic. Back to Marie Curie though (nearly said Mary Poppins), itโs interesting that the girls tend to be good, and the boys tend to be badโฆ Right. Note to self. Only have daughters. But wait. That wonโt work. Oh dearโฆ Let me show you how a certain person might have changed my mind about the little blightersโฆ
This weekโs song SHOULD have been rather embarrassing, and even perhaps dismissed as something that should stay private, not to be released to the world. But, it was indeed released to the world. The scathing world of bastards that enjoy criticising music and crushing artists to their knees. A very daring thing then, to release a song about the artistโs innocent love for his own daughter. A song written 14 years agoโฆ Please welcome Go Birch with their latest single, When I Hold You (Hollyโs Song). Go Birch is essentially one man, by name, but not by nature. This one man is accompanied by a son (always) and daughter (occasionally). His own. They very much take part in the creation of his work. In fact, I will go further. This man really only creates and releases these songs for his song and dance. Sorry, for his son and daughter. So I will assume that they evidently donโt utterly hate his work and his creations. In the words of Sly and the Family Stone, โItโs a Family Affairโ. What is more amazing, is that these two offspring are not tiny anymore. The youngest is his daughter, who is at university! And yes, thatโs Holly. That sweet girl on the cover, now all grown up. Holly has always been the everything to this man. When she was little and cute and cheeky, to, well, forever. This man is so totally bowled over by his love for Holly, that he just HAD to tell the world. And so, most of you are surely by now wincing. Sentimental hogwashโฆ? I think not!
Before I mention anything about the song itself, I must tell you something that may amaze those who have known of Britain's own Go Birch for a while. Personally, I have always thought the name to be a strange choice. Always wondered what it meant. Is it like rooting for the roots of the silver tree we just canโt help but peel? - โWoohoo! Go, Birch!โ - but no. When I first saw the name, I thought it was Go Bitch! I must admit, I was slightly let down when I realised the reality. You may have noticed that I havenโt mentioned the name of this man. This was not an error. Go, is short for Gordon. Gordon Birch suddenly sounds soโฆ Norman! Sorry, Normal. Anyway. That was all I had for you. That was it. If it didnโt amaze or surprise you, then Iโm sorry. I thought it was cool. Oh okay, okay. If that didnโt surprise you, how about THISโฆ All those Go Birch songs you know and loveโฆ Were you aware that it was not in fact Gordon singing themโฆ? No, it was Mary Poppins all along! Okay, no it wasnโt. It was his son, Neil! Now SURELY I get points for THAT tidbit of info, no? Fine then. Back to the music.
Where was I? Oh yes. Sentimental hogwash. Or so it SHOULD be. The point is, itโs brilliant. The arrangement is excellent, the production is very good, the sound is nice. The song though is just CLASSIC!! And Neil TRULY does it justice on vocals, with such absurd maturity! What a voice. I can imagine Phil Collins, Peter Gabriel or Lionel Richie penning this very song, and it would have taken over the world, back in the early 80s. Thereโs even a touch of Barry Manilow there too - think Could It Be Magic, not Copacabana. That MELODY is just WONDROUS!! The thing is, it somehow goes deeper than what you might be expecting. Itโs the words. They are heartbreaking. โAnd if I lost you, Iโd be losing myself, and Iโd be better off deadโ - phew! And when you tie this with the gorgeous piano and strings, it ends up as something really rather special. Something forever. You simply will not believe this isnโt a cover of a classic, and that this didnโt exist before. So. The whole thing got me thinking. Maybe children arenโt so bad after all. People seem transformed by them. Obsessed, yes, but glowing! And then when I think that in my old age, I could be playing music with them and singing with them, and boring them about The Beatlesโฆ Suddenly everything changes, and maybe I was wrong about being put off by the blighters. Of course, there are the teenage years to get through, but hopefully by then, they'll be fully immersed in virtual reality, Iโll be so fully immersed in dementia, that I simply wonโt notice. Besides, Iโm half demented already. What a thought though, that my own son or daughter could be singing my old songs. But then I might wish I hadnโt written lines like โPina colada colada colada oh-โโฆ Final words on When I Hold You; despite this being a song about Holly, Gordonโs daughter, this really is one of the most romantic songs I have heard in such a long time. It has that timeless melody that will stay with you for a lifetime. I dare you not to cry when listening. Sheer beauty!
Some of you possibly expected me to finish with a great big surprise punchline that Iโm having a baby. Well Iโm not. I donโt have a womb. Oh but those tiny little handsโฆ Maybe one day I will have an amalgamated blob of my own that I can play guitar at. I WILL however remember to keep the receipt.
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