Welcome all to 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗼𝗹𝗹𝘆’𝘀 𝗖𝗼𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗿, a series of weekly reviews by Charles Connolly - an artist in his own right. Here, Charles delves into the greatest brand new singles brought to you by the best unsigned artists on our electrifying and eclectic set of 𝙉𝙚𝙬 𝘼𝙧𝙩𝙞𝙨𝙩 𝙎𝙥𝙤𝙩𝙡𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 playlists.
𝙍𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝘿𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝘾𝙖𝙧𝙚 - 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝘽𝙡𝙞𝙢𝙥
Charles hunts for the missing info…
I am a thin man. I used to be slim, but now I am decidedly thin. To the point where I lack the strength to lift even so much as a pencil case. Okay, it’s not quite that bad, but I am pretty bloody useless at the moment. My usual wandering mind wonders about whether there is any purpose in us measuring our BMI (body mass index), because a man of fat will probably weigh about the same as a man of muscle… I am neither. I wondered then if it might be mood based (!), but it’s not. Obviously. I sit. All day long. Doing magical musical things. Which is nice, but I just sit. Hence why I am finally starting to do something about it. Starting to. Bit by bit, I will not sit, in order to be somewhat fit. Noyce. I have one concern though. Being fit means changing shape. So while in time I might be fit, my clothes might not fit. So I must make sure I don’t become Schwarzenegger too soon. Admittedly, this is unlikely. But I don’t want to have to get an entire new wardrobe. There is a limit to altering clothes. Although I must say, my alteration chap is rather fast, so if he were able to succeed, I don’t think I’d have to wait too long. What I mean to say is, my tailor’s swift.
Now there’s a blast from the past. Taylor Swift. Haven’t heard THAT name in a while. Do you remember her, with those few pop hits that made her marginally known to some and relatively successful in a small way…? Well, there are rumours going around that she might have a new album out. Searching through forums in the deep, dark web, I managed to find a few hints of this being true. I suppose one really has to be a fan to know. For me, it was just curiosity………….. Well, in actual fact, this was not quite how I found out this apparently vital piece of news. It has been rammed down our throats with possibly more force than if Putin had been assassinated. He hasn’t, by the way. I checked on the deep, dark, dingy web. The gloom continues. So, not only do we have 16 brand new tracks from Swifty, but we have a further 15, added only hours after the announcement of the initial 16. Right. That was Friday. Otherwise known as Taylor Swift Day. The day that Apple Music became Taylor Swift Music. Every single playlist with her face on it. A dedicated section for all her music, with a remarkable resemblance to her artist page. But with even more. And get this: the genres page within Apple Music… There is now a Taylor Swift genre. Meaning, yet again, every single release by this blasted woman. Yes. Taylor Swift is now officially a genre. Finally, after scrolling to the point where my thumb starts to get arthritic - couldn’t be swift enough - I reach the New Releases section. I do this every Friday. It’s a thing. Oh right! Apparently Taylor Swift has a new album out! And how does Spotify celebrate this joyous of days…? An entire dedicated email, with the formality of an obituary, in my inbox. I’m sure you all got it. So now you know. Taylor Swift has a new album out. I haven’t listened to it. This might surprise you, but I actually will. I never put something down without giving it a chance. Her last one was actually not bad. Not great, but not bad. The thing is, the critics have given it either 4 or 5 out of 5. Which was predictable, and means exactly nothing. The Times gave it 5 out of 5, and then went on to review it track by track (the initial 16 tracks only). Of the 16, a total of 3 were given 5 stars. All the rest were given 4, 3 or even 2. So how in blue blazes does this equate to an average of 5 out of 5??! I could write about this for a very long time, as there is SO much more to say on the matter. But (lucky you), I won’t. Anyway, while I feel I should know about this music news, I really don’t care.
It does however give me an opportunity to ride the Taylor Swift bandwagon in the hope that a couple of tags and a few mentions might get this review seen by a few more people. It won’t work, but why not try. I’m sure a few of you have smiled at least a couple of times since reading that I am a thin man. Which is frankly all I care about. That, and the music. Let’s talk about music then, shall we? Ya know… Artists who actually might deserve/need a bit of a bump… The last couple of weeks on the New Artist Spotlight has seen a rise in ballads. Perhaps it’s the inbetweenity of April. Neither summer nor winter. Do you capitalise seasons? I’m never sure. Anyway, last week’s review was the wondrous ballad, By My Side, by Rich Allen. Friday saw Tayl- no no no. There were other things released on Friday besides the most popular music star of all time. I will not pass judgement, but I have a feeling these other releases are better than the Lady’s album. I might be wrong. Gavan Waldby’s elegantly beautiful single, Make This Moment Last, is yet another rather special ballad of the season. I would frankly have reviewed it this week, had it not been for me producing it. Sorry Gavan, but that would be like me mentioning that I too released a ballad on Friday, called Too Long. And I would never do anything like that… I’m English, God damn it! Ahem. But Gavan’s song remains the sweetest piece of love. Things get a little bit instrumental with Map of Autumn. Yes, that’s right folks. After having slammed into the number one spot of the NAS Top 20 last week and this week with his brand new single, he has yet another release out already! An EP of instrumentals. We at the New Artist Spotlight are truly all over the place in terms of genre. Which makes sense. We’re all artists, and we’re all different. This ain’t no generic conveyor belt. The past week’s releases have been Ballads, Indie Rock (instrumental and otherwise), Heavy Rock, Dance, Electronic, Acoustic, Classical (James Hawken’s latest, and Prongs in Whirlwind Storm by Adán Ramírez), and Afro-Beat (do listen to Delilah by Funboi). And there is even more than that. The thing is, how do I “compare” a soft piano piece with a dubstep massacre?? I can’t. So I have to pick. You see, I really DO care.
Radiohead, Suede, James, Blur, Sleeper, Robbie Williams, Catatonia, and Space… What do all these artists have in common? They all have something to do with this week’s pick. What else? They’re all British. Actually, aside from Catatonia (Welsh, isn’t it), they’re all English. Which is rather lovely because today is St. George’s Day. Who’s George, you ask? He’s the Patron Saint of England! Today is also the birthday of English painter, Joseph Turner, and the birthday and death day (not the same year) of William Shakespeare. And furthermore, as of 2010, today is English Language Day! Well, they always have to spoil it, don’t they. But basically, today (April 23rd) is what I like to refer to as England Day. So, Happy England Day, everyone! Unfortunately, the country is truly “going to the dogs”. It is rocketing to the bed of the ocean at rocket speed (the usual speed of a rocket when rocketing). It is failing in almost every way possible. Which saddens me deeply. What slightly perks me up, is that the rest of the world is not far behind/ahead (depending on which way you look at it). What REALLY perks me up though, is that I said ALMOST every way. “Britannia Rules the Waves”…? I think they meant the radio waves… The United Kingdom still remains a full force in music. I think it must be in the blood. It certainly ain’t in the water. Have you SEEN The Thames…?? One reason I think it’s in the blood, is because despite all the Britonian artists leaving Britain, they remain talented wherever they anchor themselves. Or, it’s just complete coincidence. You see, after all this, I am not going to talk about Bryan Cooper (who has left England), or Emily Gray (who has left England), or Lofthouse Leo (who has left England), or Liz James from Bad Scullianz (who has left England). Seeing as seemingly most Britonians have left the country, I thought I might prosaically - in prose - do the same… You all know Patrik Ahlm. The Swedish chap famous for his stupendous song, Don’t Care. Well, it seems that Swedes REALLY don’t care. Despite their incredible musical talent. Please welcome Sweden’s own, The Blimp, with their brand new single, Really Don’t Care.
Let me start by saying this. I never do this… I have guessed. I have literally assumed, based on what I can find. You see, seemingly nowhere on the internet does it say where The Blimp is from. Just NOwhere. Even the deep, dark, dingy, decrepit web was unable to show me the way. I even asked the Smarties, but they didn’t have the answer, despite what they say. The thing is, with surnames like Anderhagen, Andersson, Bjerelius and Christensson, I couldn’t quite believe they could be from anywhere else but Sweden. This, and a few other things I found. What I am saying is, don’t crucify me if it turns out the band is from some forgotten island in Indonesia. I did manage to find out where Taylor Swift is from however, so I think her marketing team might be slightly superior. Note to self: get friendly with her marketing team. So yes, I guessed. I couldn’t even find an Instagram page for The Blimp. In fact, I could barely find ANY social media on them. So, I appeal to you, the reader. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to find this band on Twitter and Instagram (and any other social media), and promote them like you’ve never promoted before!!! They really do deserve it. I just think they might need a bit of help with the marketing side of things. The whole findability thang… Never has an artist been so secretive… Peculiar way to try to get the word about… I have found them on Facebook, so don’t go throwing your hands in the air saying “found it, found it”, when it’s something I’ve already found. I also found one member on Twitter. But that ain’t good enough. Wouldn’t it be funny if the band comes to me and says “we don’t actually do social media, so we don’t have any accounts”, in an Indonesian accent. Anyway, finally, here’s the reason they’re worth it…
The music. I mentioned those English artists above for a reason. The sound of The Blimp is uncannily like all of these artists rolled into one, with the addition of The Smashing Pumpkins. There’s a sneaky, cheeky quality about the song. It’s rock, with pop roots. It’s got gimmick (of the good variety), it’s got jive, it turns a corner without telling us. The band consists of Danyal Taylan, Peter Anderhagen, Jim Andersson, Jens Bjerelius, Christer Christensson and Frans Oddner. Don’t expect me to know who does what, but I suspect (from various findings) that Jens Bjerelius is perhaps the main man. Probably wrong. The point is, I pressed play, and I dug it. I dug it good. The whole sound of the six of them just works. It doesn’t much matter who did what. This is a band. A collective. It doesn’t really help to know that this particular person you had previously not heard of, was playing the bass. It’s not important. It’s all about the complete song. However, the guitar work is fabulous. Truly exciting, as it dives and and strikes like a bayonet. Very Jonny Greenwood (famous person) and very Jon Stewart (unfamous person). The bendy unpredictability of it is sublime and for me what really makes the song special. But the song itself is such great pop, with such a rocky edge. Another thing that gets me is the silky dynamics throughout. The smooth verse, allowing the singer the space to seduce. Confined seduction isn’t much fun, trust me. And then the hugest of smashy choruses. Technical term. We are very comfortably taken through the song with the melody’s ease. Not meaning the song is all comfort. Lord no. Plenty of prickly moments. The whole thing is superbly mixed by Johan Bejerholm at World Studios (also didn’t exactly narrow down the hunt for the missing info - somewhere in the world)… I do hear bits of NAS artist Vix 20 in there at times, but you won’t believe my final comparison… Mel C. Yes, the Spice Girl. There is something about Mel C’s first album here. This was when she wanted to disassociate herself from pop and started her solo career with rock. It’s really good, you’d be surprised. Bet you wouldn’t have guessed that I had heard that album. I have not only heard it, but I bought it on cd at the time. And I am perhaps becoming too comfortable in my Corner, revealing just a little too much of myself… Ah well, you only live once. Apologies for going on in the first place, and not spending too much time on the music. But as you must have gathered by now, these are not normal reviews. I only try to get the word about, in the hope that people will press play and enjoy the music. The rest is my silly way of entertaining you. Otherwise you wouldn’t stick around to read about your new favourite song.
And yes, I suppose I could have just asked them for their social media links and their wherecumference… But where’s the fun in THAT…?? Get digging!! Don’t get the wrong Blimp… (and don’t cheat - it’s boring)
I am really hoping for a shift in mainstream music soon. Most likely though, it will be a Taylor shift.
It turns out my alteration chap has a cold. My tailor sniffed.
Sorry, I’ll stop. Sorry, she won’t.
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