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๐—–๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ป๐—ผ๐—น๐—น๐˜†โ€™๐˜€ ๐—–๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐—ฟ - this week: Lilith - Teddy Head

Welcome all to ๐—–๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ป๐—ผ๐—น๐—น๐˜†โ€™๐˜€ ๐—–๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐—ฟ, a series of weekly reviews by Charles Connollyย - an artist in his own right. Here, Charles delves into the greatest brand new singles brought to you by the best unsigned artists on our electrifying and eclectic set of ๐™‰๐™š๐™ฌ ๐˜ผ๐™ง๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™จ๐™ฉ ๐™Ž๐™ฅ๐™ค๐™ฉ๐™ก๐™ž๐™œ๐™๐™ฉ playlists.


๐™‡๐™ž๐™ก๐™ž๐™ฉ๐™ - ๐™๐™š๐™™๐™™๐™ฎ ๐™ƒ๐™š๐™–๐™™


Charles writes for TVโ€ฆ


I thought since many of you might already know my pick of the week, I'd make the review a little more entertaining. Something a little different. And for those who don't know the song, you're in for a treat. Unfortunately though, those not familiar with the American television comedy, Cheers, should perhaps skip this episode and just listen to the song. One quick phonetical thing before I start: you will occasionally see โ€˜ลผโ€™. This is to be read as the โ€˜sโ€™ in usual. Oh, and do the different voices in your head for better effect.



CHEERS: THE LOST EPISODE



Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience.


[brief clarinets play into the scene]


Woody struggles in cutting the limes.


SAM: โ€œYou wanna little help with those limes there, Wood? I'm sure the customers don't want fingernails in their drinksโ€ฆโ€


WOODY: โ€œSorry, Sam. I just keep hearing this banging from somewhere. I can't concentrate.โ€


SAM: โ€œBanging? I don't hear anything. You hear anything, Cliff?โ€


CLIFF: โ€œNo, I don't hear anything. Could be that brain of yours playing tricks on you, Wood. Maybe get that checked by a doctor. Frayลผ, you wanna maybe have a look at the boy?โ€


FRASIER: โ€œOh-hahaha, that's good, Cliff. Woody's brain. Hahaha. No? Ah well, just me then.โ€


CARLA: โ€œShut yer pie-hole and drink yer drink, or I'll turn your head into a lime. I'm sure Woody wouldn't miss THAT one.โ€


FRASIER: โ€œTouchรฉ! Right. Will do!โ€


[Cheers theme]


NORM: โ€œAfternoon everybody.โ€


EVERYBODY: โ€œNORM!โ€


WOODY: โ€œYou lost a little weight, Mr. Peterson?โ€


NORM: โ€œWoody, youโ€™d better start pouring now so I leave here as drunk as you seem.โ€


SAM: โ€œHaha! Nah, give Woody a break. Heโ€™s been under a bit of stress lately.โ€


NORM: โ€œOh yeah? Whatโ€™s pokinโ€™ the old Woodster, eh Wood?โ€


WOODY: โ€œOh, Mr. Peterson, Iโ€™m sorry. I just keep hearing things.โ€


SAM: โ€œYeah, the kid says heโ€™s hearing banging. Probably just needs some time off.โ€


CLIFF: โ€œYeah, I still say he should see a doctor. The thing about doctors is-โ€


NORM: โ€œYeah shut up, Cliff. Well Sam, why donโ€™t ya give him some time off?โ€


SAM: โ€œIโ€™d need cover and all I have right now is Carla.โ€


CARLA: โ€œI donโ€™t mind covering Woody, Sam.โ€


SAM: โ€œBut youโ€™ve got your own shifts, Carla.โ€


CARLA: โ€œLook. Letโ€™s be real, here. Covering Woody is like Lilith wearing makeup. It doesnโ€™t really make a difference. Hereโ€™s how it works: I do my shift and you pay me double.โ€


WOODY: โ€œCarla, Iโ€™m standing right here!โ€


CARLA: โ€œOh, I wouldnโ€™t have noticed. That limeโ€™s feeling as safe as when it was still hanginโ€™ on a tree.โ€


SAM: โ€œAll right, guys, guys! Calm down. Carla, do your job. Woody, would ya just cut the damn limes! And Carla, Iโ€™m NOT paying you double. Say Frayลผ, where IS Lilith anyway? Havenโ€™t seen her in a while.โ€


FRASIER: โ€œWell, Sam, thatโ€™s very kind of you to ask as to the whereabouts of my sweetest buttercup. To quote her exact words, I think it was: Iโ€™d rather not spend my life rotting in a stinking hell-hole with those bums you call friends. Now while this could be construed in many beautiful ways, I prefer to stay silent and not tussle with the bustle.โ€


SAM: โ€œHa! You worried she might leave you cold in bed?โ€


CARLA: โ€œHA! Why donโ€™t ya just cuddle up to an ice box?! Thatโ€™d be much warmer.โ€


WOODY: โ€œGuys, I heard it again. That banging. Itโ€™s givinโ€™ me the creeps!โ€


SAM: โ€œOkay, Woody, go home. You need some rest. Go get yer coat from the closet, Iโ€™ll finish the damn limes.โ€


CARLA: โ€œYou sure you can spare the 48 seconds, Sammy?โ€


SAM: โ€œCarla, go help Woody.โ€


CLIFF: โ€œEr I still say he should see a doctor. Canโ€™t keep going around talking about things that are only in his head.โ€


CARLA: โ€œWhy not? YOU do.โ€


Frasier chuckles.


SAM: โ€œKnock it off guys. Iโ€™m runninโ€™ a friendly bar, here.โ€


FRASIER: โ€œNow now, Samโ€™s right. We mustnโ€™t fight. This is our place of refuge, not a quarrel-house. Howโ€™s about I buy everyone a round of drinks to set everyoneโ€™s spirits at ease. Norm, what are you drinking?โ€


NORM: โ€œWell, I thought for a change Iโ€™d go for a beer? What kind of a question is THAT, Frayลผ??โ€


FRASIER: โ€œSorry, Norm. I was losing myself in all the ruckus. But I can already feel the spirits calming as we down them. Hahaha. Just a spirits jokeโ€ฆ Anyone? No? All right then, just me again.โ€


WOODY: โ€œPlease, Dr. Crane, donโ€™t mention spirits. The bangingโ€™s getting louder.โ€


FRASIER: โ€œOh Woody, pull yourself together. There is NO BANGING!โ€


CLIFF: โ€œErrrr- Iโ€™m not so sure about that. I think I also heard some banging there, Frayลผโ€ฆโ€


FRASIER: โ€œOh, not you too, Cliff. You see, this is what we in the world of psychology call the power of suggestion.โ€


NORM: โ€œOh yeah. Like when I suggest Sam pours me another beer?โ€


CLIFF: โ€œNah, youโ€™re far off the mark there, Norm. This is where one person says they feel something and they keep saying it so much that the other person starts to feel it, despite it not being there.โ€


CARLA: โ€œNah. The power of suggestion is when I suggest you shut your trap or youโ€™ll start to hear death callinโ€™.โ€


FRASIER: โ€œOh-haha. You guys really do make this place enjoyable. But Cliff, you were in fact completely right, if a little lumpen in your wording.โ€


NORM: โ€œLumpen...? Hey Cliff, I think heโ€™s calling you fat. Hope youโ€™ve got a good comeback. Heh-heh?โ€


CLIFF: โ€œNo Norm, I get his point. Heโ€™s the wordy kind. Iโ€™ll be the first to admit that Frasier is the best in this bar at words. As Iโ€™m sure no one would argue that Iโ€™m the best at-โ€


WOODY: โ€œDelivering letters, Mr. Clavin?โ€


CARLA: โ€œHa! Spoutinโ€™ garbage that no one ever asked to hear?โ€


SAM: โ€œYou still here, Wood?โ€


WOODY: โ€œWell obviously Iโ€™m still here. You think Iโ€™m hearing things, and now you think youโ€™re seeing things?? Sam, Iโ€™m worried about you.โ€


SAM: โ€œFigure of speech there, Woody.โ€


WOODY: โ€œI heard it again, Sam. Iโ€™m scared.โ€


CLIFF: โ€œYeah, I definitely heard banging that time.โ€


NORM: โ€œVera? Is that you??โ€


By this point, the cast has migrated towards Woody at the door of the cupboard under the stairs.


CARLA: โ€œOh my God, I hear it TOO! I KNEW it. Itโ€™s the forces of evil that Madame Lazora said would eventually emanate from this bar.โ€


NORM: โ€œI think thatโ€™s my lunch. Sorry, guys.โ€


CARLA: โ€œIโ€™m serious, Norm! This is a bad omen.โ€


FRASIER: โ€œCarla, there is no such thing as the forces of evil.โ€


CLIFF: โ€œWell actually it has been known for forces of evil to-โ€œ


EVERYBODY: โ€œShut up, Cliff!โ€


SAM: โ€œAll right, all right. Enoughโ€™s enough, I can hear it too. Now Iโ€™m going in there to prove that thereโ€™s a simple explanation for all this. Woody, move.โ€


WOODY: โ€œI canโ€™t! I think my feet are glued to the floor.โ€


SAM: โ€œGuys? Could you?โ€


The cast lifts and moves Woody like a stiff totem pole, only horizontal.


SAM: โ€œRight. Iโ€™m opening the damn door. Just to show you itโ€™s n-โ€ฆ Coach? COACH?? Okay, Frasier, what is going on? Am I losing my mind? If you can all see Coach, are we all losinโ€™ our minds??โ€


FRASIER: โ€œI-, Iโ€™m as baffled as you are, Sam. Iโ€™d be inclined to believe that we have all indeed temporarily lost our minds through some sort of power of suggestion, but in overdrive. I've never known anything quite like it.โ€


SAM: โ€œIโ€™m panicking here. Paul! You just got here. Who do you see in the closet?โ€


PAUL: โ€œThatโ€™s Coach. Hey Coach. Didnโ€™t you used to be dead?โ€


SAM: โ€œOf course he used to be dead!! He IS dead!!โ€


COACH: โ€œIโ€™m not dead, Sam.โ€


SAM: โ€œWell how do you explain the whole DYING THING THEN??!!โ€


COACH: โ€œI just got stuck in here a few years ago, and I didnโ€™t know how to get out.โ€


All nonchalant, everyone draws back to their usual position in the bar.


NORM: โ€œSo, howโ€™s it hanginโ€™, Coach?โ€


SAM: โ€œHowโ€™s it HANGING?? The dude is DEAD!!โ€


COACH: โ€œIโ€™m really not, Sam. Here, siddown. Let me get you a coffee.โ€


Rebecca eventually enters the bar from the office.


REBECCA: โ€œWhatโ€™s going on, guys? Iโ€™m trying to have an important phone call in there and all I can hear is Sam shouting about- AARRRGGHHH!!! COACH!!!!!!โ€


COACH: โ€œAfternoon everybody.โ€


EVERYBODY: โ€œCOACH!!!โ€


Lilith enters the bar.


FRASIER: โ€œHello, my little sugar button.โ€


LILITH: โ€œWhatโ€™s going on here? It looks like everyoneโ€™s seen a ghost.โ€


CARLA: โ€œThey have NOW!โ€


FRASIER: โ€œA funny turn of events here at Cheers, my dear. Coach has seemingly come back from the dead.โ€


LILITH: โ€œOh curse it. He got out.โ€


FRASIER: โ€œWHAT? My dear, you donโ€™t sound remotely surprised. And what do you mean by HE GOT OUT??โ€


LILITH: โ€œOh look, you all know how much I despise this place and everyone in it. Itโ€™s the stupidity and the sport.โ€


FRASIER: โ€œBut darling, thatโ€™s literally what this bar is. I mean, itโ€™s a sports bar full of stupid people. No offence, guys.โ€


EVERYBODY: โ€œNo, none taken.โ€


LILITH: โ€œI just couldnโ€™t stand it a moment longer. Of course, this was before I strangely grew attached to the place, mainly because otherwise I knew I would barely ever see YOU, Frasier. But before that brief moment of insanity, I just could not stand the place. I realised that the dumbest, stupidest, most moronic of all was Coach, so I decided to teach you all a lesson, taking him away from you. So, while he was in the closet looking for the baseball cap that was already on his head, I simply closed the door. It was supposed to be a brief prank for a day or two, and then someone would twig. Evidently his absence made you all jump to the absurd conclusion that he was dead, and that was that.โ€


FRASIER: โ€œLilith!! Please tell me this is one of those jokes of yours that goes just a tad too far, hm?โ€


CARLA: โ€œLilith, made one of those jokes. Lilith. Made one of those jokes. Nope, canโ€™t see it. I mean, she IS one of those jokes, but making one?? Nah.โ€


FRASIER: โ€œDarling, Iโ€™m serious. Did this really happen?โ€


LILITH: โ€œSweet, innocent Frasier. It did. And I was going to tell you, but in being the devil incarnate, something stopped me.โ€


FRASIER: โ€œThe devil? You? But youโ€™re so warm and kind.โ€


CARLA: โ€œSure. And Iโ€™m Marilyn Monroe. I donโ€™t know which one of you I hate more. Right now, Iโ€™m inclined towards the devil.โ€


LILITH: โ€œOh, Frasier. Itโ€™s in the name! Lilith! Of course Iโ€™m the devil.โ€


FRASIER: โ€œBut, I, Iโ€ฆโ€


SAM: โ€œCan you two lovebirds take this elsewhere. Lilith, I never want to see you again. Frayลผ, likewise, or at least until I can see straight, okay? Okay. Carla, get them outta here.โ€


CARLA: โ€œWith great pleasure, Sam!โ€


CLIFF: โ€œEerr- I always wondered about Lilith.โ€


NORM: โ€œDid ya, Cliff?โ€


CARLA: โ€œOh come OFF it, Cliff. She duped you just like she duped us all.โ€


CLIFF: โ€œEerr, maybe youโ€™re right. So Coach, how did you survive in there for so long?โ€


COACH: โ€œYa know, thatโ€™s a funny question.โ€


NORM: โ€œFunny, huh? Howโ€™s that?โ€


COACH: โ€œI donโ€™t know. Thatโ€™s just how I reply to questions I donโ€™t know the answer to.โ€


NORM: โ€œBut Coach, didnโ€™t you ALWAYS answer questions like that?โ€


COACH: โ€œYa know, thatโ€™s a funny question.โ€


SAM: โ€œAll right, Coach, youโ€™ve been in there a long time. Why donโ€™t ya siddown and Iโ€™ll get ya somethinโ€™ from Melvilleโ€™s.โ€


NORM: โ€œOoooh! MELvilleโ€™s!โ€


SAM: โ€œCome on, guys, how would you feel if youโ€™d been locked in a closet for years? Rebecca, can you make sure Coach is okay while I go get him somethinโ€™ to eat? Rebecca?? Ah Jeez, she just pokes her head out of the office for one minute, then sheโ€™s back in there again. Coach, you gonna be okay here for a minute?โ€


COACH: โ€œSam, when did Diane dye her hair?โ€


SAM: โ€œThatโ€™s not Diane, thatโ€™s Rebecca.โ€


COACH: โ€œOh. When did Diane change her name to Rebecca?โ€


SAM: โ€œCoach, would ya just sit there for a minute? Would ya do that for Sammy? Thanks. Appreciate it.โ€


CLIFF: โ€œI reckon he was holding his breath most of the time. Actually, some say the ancient UmBongo tribes are still alive today by using the same method.โ€


NORM: โ€œDo they, Cliff. Do they really. Hey, Frayลผ is back! Hey, Frayลผ. So is your wife really the devil?โ€


FRASIER: โ€œYes, Norm. She is. How could I have never made the connection between MY Lilith and THE Lilith. Woody, now youโ€™re back to normal, would you pour me a large whiskey? A double large.โ€


WOODY: โ€œSure, Mr. Crane. Say, isnโ€™t that your evil wife back in the bar again? Hi, evil devil woman! My mother always said to be polite to everybody, even if you donโ€™t like โ€˜emโ€


FRASIER: โ€œGood God, the evil bitch is back.โ€


LILITH: โ€œI had hoped to pick up my husband and make amends, but after hearing your idiocy, Woody, Iโ€™m going to turn right around and leave for good. Iโ€™ve simply had enough of simple minds.โ€


CLIFF: โ€œNow now, Lilith. Simple Minds are pretty good, I'll have you know. I like that one, Don't You Forget About Me. You like that one, Norm?โ€


NORM: โ€œCliffy, I kinda stopped buying records in around 1975, so I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.โ€


WOODY: โ€œWasn't that about the time you started coming to Cheers?โ€


NORM: โ€œYeah, about then. Wood, I was just wondering, has Lilith ever had a bar tab?โ€


WOODY: โ€œWhy yes, she has one outstanding actually.โ€


NORM: โ€œAh good. Pour me another beer will ya, Woody? Put it on the evil bitch womanโ€™s tab. Ah, the sweet fiery taste of Hellโ€™s nectar.โ€


CLIFF: โ€œYa know, nectar is quite the misunderstood thing. Most people assume th-โ€


EVERYBODY: โ€œShut up Cliff.โ€


CARLA: โ€œYEEAHH, Clavin. And an extra special shut up from me.โ€



END CREDITS



I often think of the New Artist Spotlight as Cheers. Where everybody knows your name. Well, where everybody knows MY name, anyway. Doo doo doo. And youโ€™re always glad you came. Doo doo doo. While our troubles are all the same, I just wanted to shake things up a bit and spend a ridiculous amount of time (even longer than usual) making a fictional (even more so) mini-episode of Cheers. Why? Ya know, thatโ€™s a funny question. But unlike Coach, I have an answer. The answer being my pick for this week. It comes in the form of Lilith, by Teddy Head. Which I can only assume is another way of saying โ€œbed hairโ€. Look. When seeing the title of this song, possibly like many of you, I didnโ€™t immediately think of the devil. I thought of Cheers. I might however be the only one. In which case, this might seem a little strange (or utterly absurd). I also hope that at least SOME of you are familiar with the show, or that wonโ€™t have made any sense at all. Teddy Head is but one man from Britain. Which sure fooled me! I assumed it was a big, fat rocking band from America! Wrong. Just one English chap. His name (as far as I can tell) is Daniel Blackmore. I will assume no relation to Deep Purple guitarist Ritchie Blackmore. Although that would explain how he is able to rock so damned hard. In fact Mr. Head rocks far harder. The only thing Daniel took from Ritchie is the itch. He must have it, for there is one thing this song gives in spades. This one thing it holds from its first note to its last. It's something I must admit to missing of late. Something that most songs (mainstream and independent) seem to lack these days. Can you guess...? It's energy. Energy through the darkness of these lyrics that is simply thrilling. And all I can say is, poor Frasier. Who knew! My apologies, but I am frankly exhausted from my writing, so I will just say this: listen once, listen again. It doesn't get heavier than this. Hold on to your seat. You will be hooked. Hooked by the devil. In a good way. Why not let Teddy Head know YOUR thoughts on the song in the comments?


And finally for something slightly annoying. Annoying for me, I mean. Great for you. Young Teddy has just (I mean JUST) released another new song, TODAY. And it's great! I mean, how was I to assume that he might release a song just 18 days after the one I reviewed here...? Perhaps it's all an extended run up to Halloween, what with the theme of the darkness below...? I dunno. Anyway, you have not one, but TWO to listen to.


COACH: โ€œHas anybody seen my hat? Oh, never mind, it was on my head. Iโ€™d just like to say one thing. Cheers!โ€


Listen to ๐™‡๐™ž๐™ก๐™ž๐™ฉ๐™ on the ๐—–๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ป๐—ผ๐—น๐—น๐˜†โ€™๐˜€ ๐—–๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐—ฟ Spotify playlist HERE!

Listen to ๐™‡๐™ž๐™ก๐™ž๐™ฉ๐™ on the ๐—–๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ป๐—ผ๐—น๐—น๐˜†โ€™๐˜€ ๐—–๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐—ฟ Apple Music playlist HERE!

Listen to ๐™‡๐™ž๐™ก๐™ž๐™ฉ๐™ on YouTube HERE!


Follow ๐™๐™š๐™™๐™™๐™ฎ ๐™ƒ๐™š๐™–๐™™ on Instagram HERE!

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85 Comments


Leo lofthouse
Leo lofthouse
2 hours ago

OMG CC! Iโ€™m absolutely howling with laughter at your episode of Cheers. ๐Ÿคฃ Itโ€™s really fab. You should absolutely write a sitcom series or even better, a Kardashian version of The NAS. The New Artist Spotlight often makes me think it should be made into a series. It has all the elements of a soapie, sitcom, survivor, reality sort of show. Sometimes weโ€™re a happy family of indie musicians and sometimes weโ€™re kind of โ€œLilithโ€-snapping one anotherโ€™s heads off. Somewhere in there, weโ€™re all musicians, so it should really be a musical of course, but I think it could be highly entertaining! Something like The Rocky Horror Picture Show and Little Shop of Horrors comes to mind. Imagine how muchโ€ฆ


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ZOLEON
ZOLEON
3 hours ago

Great review had a good time reading it keep up the great work would check out more ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ’ฏ

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Charles Connolly
Charles Connolly
2 hours ago
Replying to

What did you like about it?

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Patrik Ahlm
Patrik Ahlm
4 hours ago

I read it all, of course.๐Ÿ˜€ I used to watch Cheers, but don't remember this episode. Which must mean you made it all up and if so it makes you an even more extraordinary human than before. Where do you get the time and the energy? I'm so impressed! Your brain is phenomenal. And you should write more for sitcoms - you're a natural. I could vividly both hear and see the whole lost episode. Cool!


As for the music. Lilith by Teedy Head really is a power house of energy and intensity. He does something I myself must dare to do more often - to let the guitars be really upfront and louder in the mix than both drumsโ€ฆ


Edited
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Charles Connolly
Charles Connolly
2 hours ago
Replying to

I don't quite understand why some people are under the impression that I simply copied and pasted an episode of Cheers...! You're the third to suggest this. Two readers even said they remembered the episode!! Ah well. I did indeed make it all up. As to the music, I agree with you about the guitars. It adds so much attitude and grit.

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Tim Davies
Tim Davies
4 hours ago

Enjoyed the screenplay. It was long but I made it to the end so thatโ€™s says something!


Teddy Head is a personal fave. Highly rate his music and production; this song is killer.

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Boy HaNZY
Boy HaNZY
6 hours ago

Haha!โ€ฆ great conversation and new concept for the review. Awesome

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