Welcome all to 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗼𝗹𝗹𝘆’𝘀 𝗖𝗼𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗿, a series of weekly reviews by Charles Connolly - an artist in his own right. Here, Charles delves into the greatest brand new singles brought to you by the best unsigned artists on our electrifying and eclectic set of 𝙉𝙚𝙬 𝘼𝙧𝙩𝙞𝙨𝙩 𝙎𝙥𝙤𝙩𝙡𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 playlists.
𝘽𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙉𝙚𝙬 𝘿𝙖𝙮 - 𝘿𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙖𝙣 𝙒𝙝𝙞𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙧
Charles walks like an…
Egypt is a funny place, much like no other. Until recently, much of its famed land lay barren and dry. In fact, this land is STILL pretty desolate. Of course, Egypt is not only desert. I think many don’t realise its bustling cities and modern way of life. What do we imagine when we think of Egypt? What’s the absolute number one thing that springs to mind? Well I’ll tell you. It’s Toblerone. A stone version. Thousands of years ago the Egyptians took a bite of the delectable Western chocolate treat and loved it so much, they decided to build a huge shrine in its honour. Quite fascinating, really! I mean, just how on earth did they get their hands on a bar of Toblerone in the middle of Egypt? And wouldn’t it melt in the burning heat of the sun? The answers to these questions will forever remain unknown. There are other such peculiarities as how they built these trianguloid structures… A system of ramps, rollers and pulleys? Simply very strong men? Very strong women? And what about layers that aren’t on the “ground floor”…? They just threw them? Lobbed them up in the air and hoped for the best? These stone slabs weigh roughly 2.5 tonnes each!! For you Europeans, that’s 2,267,960 grams. I could probably just about manage the 960, if I remember to take my vitamin pills. So what’s it all for? Just for the sake of a bar of chocolate? Well, yes. And that is why Toblerone is so popular to this day. Their stone equivalent is now more famous than the chocolate bar itself, so people buy the bars to show their affection and appreciation for the gargantuan feats of engineering. Swings and roundabouts!
What else do we think of in relation to this sacred land? Headdresses? Eyeliner? Well yes, all of that. What about that famous walk? That cute little strut. Dancing and grooving all the way to the shop to stock up on their favourite cocoa candy. I feel so English with my hands by my sides as I wander to the shop. Maybe I should change that. People might look at me though. Hell, if Elizabeth Taylor could get away with looking like that, then so can I! My next role model: Cleopatra.
For my next trick, I will be going into the world of the emoticon (can’t stand the word “emoji”). Where did they come from? When did they start? WHY do we use them when we have words and an imagination. Ah yes, of course: many don’t. Why write “I agree”, when you can tap the “100” emoticon? Why type “I am sorry to hear that”, when you can tap the sad-face emoticon? Why say “I am happy to tell you that I am currently sitting on the lavatory”, when you can tap the smiley poo emoticon? And so you see the absolute necessity in having these modern devices of speedy emotional delivery. I couldn’t imagine life without them 🤥. But how modern ARE these things? Are they maybe 20 years old? 25? Nope. The whole concept goes back thousands of years, to the time of the Pharaoh. Hieroglyphs. Eye, Bird, Bird, Bird, Walking Egyptian, means scouting for girls. Simple enough! Walking stick? I don’t feel like walking. Wavy lines? I’m “a little bit “JEWbyus” (or “doobeeus” as our American friends will coolly and casually say). Snake? Well, you obviously like snakes. You see? It’s so simple! We simply brought back this idea of pictures instead of words. We are now on the level of a toddler. So give yourself a pat on the back, film yourself trying to do this, and stick it on social media. You’ll be a star overnight for your pure idiocy. In the words of Fatboy Slim, “You’ve Come a Long Way, Baby”.
At this juncture, I will come to the point. Speaking of the Wonders of the World, we are all here to witness the wonders of our very own Egyptian friend, Mr. Dorian Whisper, with his brand new single, Brand New Day! Despite him being known as “our Egyptian friend”, or “The Pharaoh”, he actually grew up in Rotterdam, Holland, and has spent substantial time in the Caribbean and the Philippines. Now settled in Egypt though, he basks in the midday sun, counting his guitars and brushing up on his hieroglyphs. Dorian has been a member of the New Artist Spotlight since the heady days of 2020 - when it was dangerous to do just about anything. These days we have other things, like war. Oh joy of joys. I never thought I would look back at 2019 with such fondness. But then again, I wouldn’t have met Dorian and all my other NAS cronies. The New Artist Spotlight has literally become my life. Everything else is secondary. I finally have friends in music! And Dorian feels exactly the same. He is proud of the group/cult, and of himself - and rightly so. Having released 7 singles and one EP since the start of the pandemic - when a lot of us started being public with our talents - he is on the up-and-up. Or “on the rise”, as we used to say. Each release shows off more and more dedication and finessing of his art and craft. More attention to detail, in terms of writing and sound. I have always liked his music, but have been waiting for “the one”, as I KNEW it was coming. I don’t believe his talent will slow down or wane, but I couldn’t hold it any longer. Like a toddler 💩.
Brand New Day - mixed by our very own Andres Guazzelli - seems at first like it is to be a nice, simple acoustic song. But even just a few seconds in to the acoustic strumming, we are greeted with unusual timing: generally in bars of 4, but with the occasional bar of 2. Aside from not expecting this, it propels the song with immediacy. We don’t have to wait for the bar to finish. It would only be 2 more beats of the same chord anyway. The drums enter with a proud smile, and we’re straight into the guitar hook. It’s acoustic rock done well. THEN… Heavy distorted guitars come in with a punch; choppy and rhythmically pristine. Dorian’s vocals enter on beat 2, with a melody that I just ADORE! After two rounds of this perfect rock, Dorian soothes us with a softer section, with harmonies, piano and some subtle synths. But he rides up the ladder pretty quickly, to almost Zappa-esque moments! In its natural “prog” ways, we are now brought to a sunny acoustic chorus with a positive outlook. My favourite thing about this chorus is the contrast of leading from this lighter side of life, back into the darker, grittier second verse. That rich electric guitar REALLY kicks hard. Our final few choruses show off the warmth and joy of Dorian’s vocal harmonies. I guarantee, this will be stuck in your head - in a good way. May he rise and rise again. Up and Up!
I did it. Not one mention of the word Pyramid - ah damn. 🤦🏻♂️
Listen to 𝘽𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙉𝙚𝙬 𝘿𝙖𝙮 on the 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗼𝗹𝗹𝘆’𝘀 𝗖𝗼𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗿 Spotify playlist HERE!
Listen to 𝘽𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙉𝙚𝙬 𝘿𝙖𝙮 on the 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗼𝗹𝗹𝘆’𝘀 𝗖𝗼𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗿 Apple Music playlist HERE!
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